she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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