do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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