My brain says no but my pants say off.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We left the knife in your bed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
