I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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