If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
