Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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