so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
