im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
This house was built for laser tag.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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