Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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