Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
