I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
