I'm jealous of your bromance
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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