I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
