I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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