I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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