She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
