woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
