Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
