im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
