Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
