I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
