my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just blew my weed a kiss
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
