Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
