I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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