Sponge bath it is.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
