i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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