My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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