i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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