You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
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Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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