Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
