But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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