i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
