Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
