This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
