u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wish I only lived at night.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
