hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
