i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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