Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
