??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
