I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
