turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
