Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
