and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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