Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Randomize
