i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
