My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
