Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
