she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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