i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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