Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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