I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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