I want to have your abortion
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
