i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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