What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
