How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
