Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
