is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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