I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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