Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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