Tell her she can't have a vagina
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
