Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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