Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
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