Only a mothe r could love this liver
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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