she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
