shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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