I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
